Types of response:

* A) who expect des
* B) I would
* C) they deserve

Outline of the block list:

* Introductory questions (1-3)
* Questions on training and studies (4-13)
* Questions on professional experience and on the company (14-52)
* Personal Questions (53-89)
* Questions on working conditions desired (89-100)

The questions most imbeciles are marked with an asterisk (*)

• Introductory questions

1. Did you costado finding parking?
a) In reality I have come home from praying on their knees by its director-general: its magnificent company deserves nothing less.
b) What makes you think that I have come by car, listillo? Or me what questions because the work is valet parking?
c) I ask my driver when he comes to collect.

2. Can our company knew before?
a) of course. I must confess that even took their logo tattooed on his chest, and I know memory of his last 19 balances.
b) Why should I know? Would I knew you before me?
c) Yes, that's why I have given the rabies vaccine before stepping on their offices.

3. Why is submitted for this post? *
a) I am uniquely qualified for the post. I'm faster, higher and stronger. I love your company and sacrificing my life for it. You will not find better prepared or more employees loyal.
b) Well I'm not sure, but just having something to do with the fact that I'm looking for a job.
c) The voices ordered me to come here. To you too, huh?

• Questions on training and studies

4. Why did you choose your studies?
a) To prepare to devote my life to his company.
b) give to assume things. I do not choose my career: I played.
c) Okay, I must confess three things: I am illiterate and can not be counted.

5. Could you repeat the choice of studies if re-start?
a) of course. Already in the maternal womb was clear what was going to study.
b) If re-start, I would street artist.
c) Blue.

6. What excelled in their studies?
a) In any. Redefine the concept of academic excellence and I applied my leadership to achieve my goals.
b) make caricatures of teachers.
c) Being the first of my promotion. Although I had to kill everyone else to do so.

7. Rather exams or work?
a) work, always. I allow work as a team, lead the group and show my proactivity.
b) The examinations. Nobody wanted to do work with me: people marginalized geniuses.
c) We swear that it knew me, but I forgot.

8. Is Cree who has done studies suited to their abilities?
a) Without doubt. My studies have allowed me to harmonize my marketing skills with my natural talent for the activity of your business.
b) Are you going to trust what I tell you?
c) The studies are never adequate. My abilities good, thanks.

9. What were your favorite subjects?
a) 3 My favorite subjects were "Chupaculos I", "Theory of slavery vocational" and the provision of free choice "Dying to work for free."
b) What you're funny, Jodi. Do you think you can take subjects "favorite"?
c) That is like asking my favorite way of dying. Do you have it? If we want testing.

10. To what extent are his notes dei his personal effort or his intelligence?
a) To my understanding, which allows me to put my personal effort at the disposal of this company.
b) I suppose my personal effort, because if he had intelligence, would not be here answering these crap.
c) The question I like. Say what you say, looks good, huh?

11. How do you rate the training they received?
a) A 10. Cancel my free will and I became a zombie with a tie.
b) It would be ugly if you say that was a whore shit?
c) Not much was made by my Michelin.

12. Have you received any additional training?
a) He completed a Master of BISNIS ADMINISTREICHON.
b) Hey, did you you've read my resume?
c) It is possible. Who wants to know?

13. Will continue to expand their studies? How?
a) I will complete a master in MANACHMENT AND DIREKCHON
b) If man, the only thing I lack. Do you think that I have come here to extend my studies?
c) As expand a little more, we are not going to fit everyone in this room.

• Questions on professional experience and companies

14. What do you know about our company?
a) Blah blah blah (reciting listing to Dip, previously brooding)
b) The location and name.
c) To have a logo horrific.

15. What is your professional goal?
a) Promote executive until a charge that will allow me to lead a team of people making use of my communicative abilities and qualities of my command.
b) Does mmmh… Contract and fixed charge each month?
c) Broadway. Someday turn this interview into a musical comedy.

16. Why do you want to work in this company? *
a) I believe that my attitudes and skills are best to develop my career in a prestigious firm like this.
b) you confused. I prefer to be in my house watching TV. What I want is to win dough.
c) To find out what brand of cologne you use.

17. What has experience at the professional level?
a) I've been 300 years developing the same tasks of this post for Retardeds Incorporated in New York.
b) enough to know that here I will not serve anything.
c) Turn off the lights and you teach.

18. Would you like to work alone or in groups?
a) group, to alzarme as their leader and teamwork.
b) only, to avoid having to endure gilipolleces nor walk with my leg tied to anyone.
c) Only in order to spend hours Hurgada nose without anyone watch me.

19. What chance / it has been able to demonstrate what really cree que vale? *
a) In January 2001 maximize profits before tax of Negreros and Associates, improving by 12% the figure of the previous fiscal year, compared to consolidated balance sheet of the company group. That day I knew I could die already.
b) Right now: I am a demostrándote puto master and I do not need your shit work.
c) Last week, when save humanity from alien invasion.

20. Why stopped work earlier?
a) I had reached my professional ceiling. I need new training opportunities, promotion and equidistance lines.
b) worked hard and paid little.
c) The secretariats were very ugly.

21. Why do you want to change jobs?
a) As I said in question 20, I need a new scourge that I love with renewed vigour.
b) Because I want to charge more, work less and live better. I am a rabble, I know.
c) Because in the old are the people ate raw.

22. During the period of unemployment, what are you doing? *
a) I still ways to expand and update my knowledge, undertook case studies of marketing and planning accounts and improve my technique to get a knot of the tie with one hand.
b) It is rumoured that I come to interviews, but I have no evidence. You will FIART me.
c) do you what you care?

23. Do you consider yourself a good professional? *
a) Yes, sir. (cast here and a small sollozo fruncir lips very seriously, as the verge of tears) I am. (maintaining face excited and stare)
b) until probably better than you.
c) Not. Actually I am a patán.

24. What he learned in his last placement?
a) purchased a multitude of theoretical knowledge on criteria for accelerated depreciation hope I can put into practice in the accounting of the assets of the company.
b) To work for hire or reward, will never be happy.
c) To steal office supplies in large quantities without being noticed. In fact, when we have completed the interview, cast in his absence stapler, three pens and a package of DIN-A4.

25. What functions developed in his work…?
a) develop practical applications of the parent Boston esplenosférica and implemented a strategy based on the 4 Ps. I am responsible for managing change in operating a business environment of horizontal structure and functional synergies identified.
b) As a general rule, which play. Only the head had a fixed task, namely removal of coffee and reading newspaper.
c) I have a lot of therapy to get to forget all that. Please do not remind me do it.

26. Which of your previous work liked least? Why?
a) None. In all of them apply my skills intercom personnel to extract new knowledge and get familiarized with my skin to caress of the whip.
b) The truth is that competition is very hard-fought. I would say that I did not like it either.
c) Previous works? You must be confused with another. I have never worked.

27. How was your last boss?
a) It was like a father to me. A great person. Only good things could tell him.
b) An incompetent tyrant. A son of a whore in every sense of the term.
c) Look, I can introduce you, but trust me, you're not their type.

28. Is it a good professional? *
a) Yes, sir. (cast here and a small sollozo fruncir lips very seriously, as the verge of tears) I am. (maintaining face excited and stare)
b) That you've asked me. Probably want to check if I am a submissive Currant not dared to correct his superiors. Oops, it seems that I am not one of those.
c) If you repeat the question for the third time, it appears certain that the Man of Saco.

29. How came to work in their previous job?
a) Through a tough selection process. I had to compete with other candidates and 321,532 overcome 18 interviews, make psycho-31, to donate a kidney and spend 1 month on the Moon without water, food or warm clothing.
b) I suppose that miracle.
c) At the door, but that night I went to steal. That day I Cola out of the window.

30. How earned in your last job?
a) My pay was variable, consisting of a basic salary of twelve juicy euros more incentives and commissions. I have brought all my payroll and bank statements to see that.
b) You should know that a real gentleman and I never spoke nor their money or their wives.
c) It depended on how much money carried over the victim.

31. How do you see your professional future? *
a) I hope to keep my upward trajectory and access to positions of greater responsibility.
b) depressing unless a nuclear war destroying the planet in the next 10 seconds.
c) Do not know him say. It's not that I brought sunglasses. But I would say that is maroon and cone-shaped.

32. What kind of tasks and activities likes to perform at work?
a) trade forecast to 3 years hearing statements from corporation tax and attracting new business opportunities.
b) Windows Solitaire, visiting porn pages and coffee.
c) Workshop and marble from zero to seven thousand seven.

33. Cree Is that your experience is enough for this job?
a) Absolutely yes. See page 65 of volume VIII of my resume if you have doubts.
b) No, I come just to see if school. Do you do you think?
c) Are you going to trust what I tell you?

34. What attitudes have cree for the job that you offer?
a) assertiveness, proactivity, capacity for teamwork and overall strategic vision.
b) mmmh… if work outside an attitude that would….
c) I have three attitudes: the first, last and middle areas.

35. What skills?
a) The university's volume I, page 38, supplemented by postgraduate courses listed on page 56 of Book III Curriculum.
b) What you see is what you need.
c) I trained in terrorist camps in the Middle East. I am trained.

36. Do you prefer to give orders or be told what they should do?
a) Give orders, of course. A leader is committed to efficient targets and delegates without ever losing sight of the vision business.
b) "I command and ordered" is my motto.
c) At work or in bed?

37. Cite two experiences, working or not, which has proven its value. *
a) The first experience was that I quoted in the response 19. The second, not labor, was when I won the contest Chupaculos 2005.
b) If you revert to repeat another question or any part thereof, I will make you regret.
c) I do not need to prove anything small.

38. What you have capacity valued at previous work?
a) It would be difficult to highlight a quality over another, but probably my most valued quality is the personal commitment to the company and give it top priority at all times.
b) I am afraid that they were more worried that have nonstop Curran to assess anything.
c) I believe my choreography from "Swan Lake" was what most passions aroused.

39. Cite three experiences in which it has shown resilience.
a) The first, when I used to not urinate more than once daily to work more. The second, when I used to not eat more than once a day, also to work more. The third, when I cut his penis to avoid the temptation to have children, which could have adversely affected my job performance.
b) Move every day to work shit to give the callus for a pittance is a fucking example of resilience.
c) I'm very shy. I've never done that in public.

40. What do we do best?
a) Leading teams proactively.
b) It depends on what you pay.
c) O with a Canuto.

41. Cite three experiences in which it has demonstrated initiative.
a) Year 1999, brought him coffee to the head without me so requires. Year 2002, I went to staff to seek a reduction in my own salary. Year 2005: I am self-flagellation with 10 lashes without waiting for my boss what I ordered.
b) I have a better idea: let this question. This counts as an experience at least, right?
c) During this interview I have given several tests. Do you were not careful?

42. Are you willing to work longer than agreed? *
a) Of course. The company is my priority.
b) Of course not, son of a whore swindler.
c) Only if overtime were to place explosives and blow up the building with you and with the head inside.

43. What situations bother you more in the workplace?
a) People who do not know teamwork irritates me about. Also making the holidays.
b) As of today, everything.
c) The co-workers who are thrown fart without making noise.

44. Describe how cree to be his life between now and ten years. *
a) occupation managerial responsibilities. I would have married a woman named Josefa Fernanda Perez, will have 1 adopted son named Igor and lives in a street named for painter. The number of portal will be few, probably 18. My life is what they had always desired.
b) Do not know or what I'm going to dinner today, so I imagine…
c) probably will be serving a sentence for haberte killed.

45. How did you hear about the existence of this square?
a) My contacts in the personnel departments of companies in the sector alerted me to this wonderful career opportunity, because I felt qualified for the post.
b) Thanks to an innovative and revolutionary invention, the fruit of human ingenuity, known as "classifieds section."
c) In reality he did not know. I have come here to make time while I hope to a friend, and I simply follow the flow.

46. Why you are interested in this job? *
a) It is a perfect opportunity to continue rising in my career and put into practice everything they know. The functions to develop in the post are my favorites and best development. If this post had its own name, it would be mine, sir.
b) To earn money. I have the bad habit of eating 3 times a day. Oh, do you really thought that I Mol shit your business?
c) I understand that the coffee machine of these offices is one of the best in the entire city.

47. How do you like it to be their future boss?
a) I have a motto which was originally set forth by a business guru in his classic book "The modern enterprise: the galleys to the desks of office". That sentence reads: "Do not you wonder how you would like it to be your boss. Ask yourself how you would like your boss that you were. " Therefore, is an issue that I should not respond out of respect toward the company.
b) Let's see, blonde, blue eyes, high, thin, big breasts, sexually insatiable, with weakness by types like me… Can I continue or is it sufficient?
c) As Mazinger-Z but with the breasts of Aphrodite-A explosives.

48. Cree Why should we hire you?
a) I have already commented on my skills and attitudes, but I think that what makes me more valid for this position at this time is the perfect strategic fit for the juncture of the company with my knowledge of analytical techniques and internal management of the Commercial combativeness.
b) It is not what I think, in fact it stinks enough. Why do you think I would be wasting your ass by becoming a whore?
c) my decorative qualities. I have a wardrobe full of clothes that match the tone of this office furniture.

49. How can we prove that you are the best candidate? *
a) Probably the best way that my talent and skill would come to light in a dynamic group with other candidates. I suggest a study of case that makes clear who is and who is not proactive.
b) What makes you assume that I believe the best candidate, if not know the others? I gilipollas shots by an arrogant or simply're well short?
c) I propose that we all put inside a large cage armed with knives and razors and recruit the sole survivor, that I will be myself.

50. Why did you choose to work rather than as autonomous salary? *
a) After a detailed study of the macroeconomic situation of the economy, I have concluded that the purpose of paid employment is the best way to optimize the performance of my effort and have access to productive resources at a high level.
b) Do you think that if you so easy work of autonomous someone would come to your interview crap? Because I have no choice but, so Gañán.
c) In the picture you are painting to me, I too am I that question.

51. What is most valued for a job?
a) The opportunities for advancement and that gives me the opportunity to assume new responsibilities.
b) Office hours, wages, time lost in travel, level of exploitation…
c) The average bra size of female employees of the company and its willingness to maintain sexual encounters in the copier room. Because you have the copier room, right?

52. What have been its success in previous jobs?
a) My previous work has been a constant success. The word "failure" does not exist in my dictionary. My experiences attest my successes, for example the study of segmentation centrifuge I made in March 1997 for Putaden Grossen AG, and still today is a landmark in the sector.
b) To survive without killing anyone.
c) Once I left before my hour without which nobody would mind.

• personal question

53. What he likes to spend his spare time?
a) For the company, of course.
b) Can I leave the questions because I practise my hobbies at work?
c) bombarded orphanages, robbing beggars… Normally.

54. Say something positive from you. And some negative.
a) Something positive: Always reach optimal operational solutions. Something negative: That word does not exist in my dictionary.
b) Something positive: I am so desperate for work, I'm willing to endure interviews as imbeciles like this. Something negative: My patience has its limits.
c) Something positive: My RH. I am A . Something negative: The balance of my account.

55. How cree that his character can affect the work?
a) positive way. My character is someone who understands that failure forms part of the solution, forms part of the problem.
b) It depends on the effect of work on my character.
c) That I asked myself last night, after dinner. And I stayed blank, hears.

56. How would show that has the capacity to interact with people?
a) Participating as a facilitator in a dynamic group on cooperation and competition.
b) Why should quererme relate to "people"? The majority is idiotic.
c) Remove clothing and what you teach. Do not get hurt.

57. What attitude has to work routine or bureaucratic?
a) If the company believes that this is my task at a given moment, not the issue. The will perform with great efficiency.
b) I was bored a lot, lot. Oh no, what I have just left without work?
c) That depends on what I pay for them.

58. What attitude is ahead of orders or unforeseen urgent?
a) take appropriate decisions without wasting time and resolve the situation with utmost diligence. This will become a problem into an opportunity for growth and overcoming personal and professional.
b) Land Cage in the wheels of guilt.
c) Oops, this question does not expect me. Do I have to respond quickly?

59. What is your greatest weakness?
a) Maybe I deliver too much time to develop vertical organizational charts to four colors with flowcharts. I am blind, but I'm working on it.
b) I Pirro white chocolate.
c) You.

60. If I had freedom to choose the job within our company, what would choose?
a) I will provide a more professional enrichment: a position of responsibility that I offer opportunities for promotion in the medium term.
b) having the highest payroll.
c) yours, to suicide.

61. Does a people with different criteria to yours?
a) The plurality is a key element in any team. However, consider my duty to exercise my leadership positions to homogenize for greater efficiency.
b) Yes. Quite unfortunately have to be wrong.
c) No, but I give 30-second advantage. Then they shot.

62. What would think if you say we are going to be very demanding with you? *
a) I did not expect otherwise. I have come to work. To work hard. (this must be said very seriously, and with a faint glow of excitement in the eyes)
b) That I am going to pay a long pasta.
c) Is it a threat or a promise?

63. What skills do you have to have to select it? *
a) 3 Weight: Patience, Proactivity and Pragmatism.
b) If at this stage of the interview still do not know what abilities I have, off and let's go.
c) What makes you think I want my selection?

64. What is your opinion regarding the learning? *
a) There is an ongoing process, the foundation of leadership.
b) That is not like asking what I think of the first conjugation of verbs?
c) It is a great movie.

65. What is the idea of people you?
a) An employee cordial and delivered, a good friend. A diamond in the rough.
b) Neither idea. Ask the people, right?
c) The opinions are varied, but everyone agrees that I always play gilipollas interviewers.

66. Tell me one thing that people always tells her house that makes you wrong.
a) I live alone. If someone waiting for me at home, could not pay in my work as much as the company deserves.
b) Excellent question, if working on my house, of course.
c) Domestic lions.

67. How would define?
a) As a worker.
b) As a mammal.
c) Reducing my intake of carbohydrates.

68. Hábleme of yourself.
a) I will only be what you want it to be.
b) I am myself and my circumstances.
c) I am a rebel because the world has made me well.

69. How do you explain your character?
a) I have a flexible and dynamic, able to adapt to new business challenges of the twenty-first century.
b) I do not have much patience for nonsense. That puts you is an uncomfortable position.
c) I am halfway between Gandhi and The Incredible Hulk.

70. Discuss any fact of life that has deeply marked.
a) The first time I drew up a profit and loss account. It was a magic moment.
b) I have some scars playful totaling 132 points. Does that help?
c) The final episode of "The house of the prairie."

71. What is the social problem that most concerned?
a) The growth of CPI interannual above the GDP growth in a context of economic slowdown.
b) The precariousness of work and farces like this interview.
c) I fear the possibility that the pants leg of elephant again be fashionable.

72. What gives importance to the friendship?
a) A lot. I consider myself a friend of my friends.
b) A lot. If not, to see who you story after they gave me feel like Pot during the interview.
c) It depends on the money that goes wrong in every moment.

73. What gives importance to the responsibility?
a) A lot. A worker must take proactive and organized commitments and manage their own team: that carries a great responsibility.
b) Does the responsibility for who?
c) A responsibility not I neither good morning.

74. What gives importance to religion?
a) I am not practicing Catholic. Lord is my shepherd: I am missing anything.
b) Same as everything that belongs to the field staff and what is not appropriate to ask in an interview for disparatada currar four drives.
c) you tell me, of course.

75. What gives importance to marriage?
a) It is the symbol of the commitment, which I assume my work and enterprise.
b) How important is the importance that I give to marriage?
c) Are not you going a little fast? We just know, charm…

76. What gives importance to politics?
a) It is important: it is present in all areas. The company is like a political party. We must all rowing in the same direction. No excuses.
b) It is not mine, but I know that there are good and bad. I always vote for the good.
c) On a scale of zero to ten, would be the letter J.

77. Who lives?
a) Only. It is an example of my independence and avoid outside interference in my work.
b) Only. It is an example of economic ruin my loneliness and destructive.
c) With the imaginary friend of my imaginary friend.

78. Are you married?
a) No, but my girlfriend for 15 years.
b) is what I put on my resume as "marital status". Leételo, anda.
c) Yes, with a nun.

79. Do you have children or want to take them?
a) I have no children. The'll have when I retire.
b) That I do not know, but today DNA tests not forgiven.
c) I do not know, but it would a good price if your boss wants to buy them as slaves.

80. What does your family?
a) It is a working family that it should be all the employed.
b) No're thinking of hiring them, right?
c) My father is an astronaut and my mother is a spy.

81. How is your family life?
a) There is nothing to worry about it. There are no health problems, pregnancy or tensions that could adversely affect my performance at work.
b) The interview is to adopt a child or to work here?
c) Have a circular shape and is pink.

82. What has been the most important stage of his life?
a) The stage of my life more important coincided exactly with fiscal year 2003 the company where he worked.
b) Oops, he returned to forget periodificar my life. I say this morning without fail.
c) Anyone who include a mountain pass in first class.

83. What kind of reading prefer?
a) Texts didactic or educational-type accounting, business, team leadership, development of commercial spirit…
b) Do not worry, if I hire and I bring magazines from home.
c) One who has many drawings.

84. What is the last book he read?
a) "The post-capitalist society" by Peter Drucker
b) "The pleasure of working" by Scott Adams
c) The Threshold Paco wanted to introduce in the agenda of Mercedes Milá.

85. What is the last movie you saw?
a) None. I have no personal life.
b) Do the porn count?
c) I'm not sure. I stayed asleep.

86. What is your military status?
a) I am fully available to serve only my business.
b) Let's say that if there were to invade any country, not my name is.
c) I do not love and war.

87. What people or companies we can provide references for you?
a) They are listed in Appendix 3 of my curriculum.
b) The Social Security can confirm that I have my whole life being exploited. That should suffice.
c) Donald Duck and his friends.

88. What do you think of the phrase "you do not pay for thinking"? *
a) It is an appropriate reminder that the worker must assume a proactive commitment to the values of the company, not vice versa.
b) I suppose not pay anyone for piss, but by no means going to quit.
c) That I do not pay for an answer.

• Questions on working conditions des

89. What salary would like to win? And in the future?
a) Between you and me, because this represents such an opportunity to develop my skills, that would work for free. But if there is no choice but to comply with the law, the minimum wage sector will be more than enough.
b) One billion euros a day. In the future, ten billion euros per hour.
c) I insult if you think I'm here for money.

90. Would you move any problems would drive to work?
a) Of course not. I am available to travel and driving licence trucks, ambulances, tractors and space rockets.
b) What I poses a problem is going to work in itself.
c) I would prefer that leads me to horse.

91. Why do you want to work at the moment? *
a) The opportunity gives me this post is too good to let pass.
b) Oh, I do not know. A silly whim that I had entered. Look, you and I look forward to!
c) Who wants to know?

92) What is most important to you, the contract or personal fulfilment? *
a) (fruncir lips, excited. looking at the floor, then look to the interviewer straight in the eye, nod with his head and finally respond) Conducting staff, sir. The personal fulfilment.
b) It depends on what you are better paid.
c) That of personal fulfilment is edible?

93. What type of employment contract and wants to have with us?
a) If we can resolve it without formalize anything better. You do not have to pay my social security and may echarme whenever they want. But if there is no other choice, a contract for work or service and will be fine.
b) Contract and social security. And working without shackles. I know, I am a shameless.
c) I do not know. Bring me the letter, to see what there is.

94. You accept to live in another city for work?
a) Yes. (respond quickly, without hesitation)
b) If I wanted to work in another city, would be looking for a job in another city.
c) If there is Disneyland, the answer is a big YES.

95. Would you be willing to travel often?
a) Yes. I own their own vehicle.
b) Would you be willing to pay what it costs?
c) often do not travel, is a very ugly place.

96. Would you be willing to undertake a course of six months by the company before being hired?
a) of course. Training is essential. In fact, would not accept an immediate incorporation.
b) Man, just missing above that I had to pay, considering that I'm going to shoot 6 months without charge. Considering jackass, the answer is NO.
c) You can not teach me anything that did not already know, young grasshopper.

97. Why you are interested in entering this business? *
a) The positioning of the company in the sector is magnificent and moving upward.
b) no. I have another interview the next 20 minutes, can we save the questions morons?
c) I was seduced the typography of the ad. And the colors. And the smell of the paper.

98. What time would prefer?
a) Businesses have no timetable. Dynamism and flexibility are key. The era of rigid timetables has ended: globalization has been imposed.
b) The fewer hours, better. And if I do not have to top up early, I have now.
c) Sorry, I was thinking of naked women kissing big udders. What do you say?

99. When do you think you might start?
a) Ya. (unlike other responses, it must act with firmness and resolution, and even an iota of chulería)
b) I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in your business. The interview was ridiculous. I would like to work at a site a little more seriously.
c) On November 2 of 2018.

100. After having spoken of this work, do you think you might like?
a) Yes.
b) We talked about a thousand soplapolleces, but not labor. Thanks for nothing. Bye.
c) If you think you might like to?

Seen in: Stable within the gravity

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